We believe that our relationships with others are an important determinant when assessing the quality of our lives. However, your relationship with yourself is the first and perhaps the most important relationship. Building a good relationship with oneself is an ongoing endeavour. 

Healthy love for oneself can lead to a marked improvement in your day to day existence. It also enables us to be less caught up in the consequences of the actions of others. Oscar Wilde hits the nail on its head when he says in his inimitable style - To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Our relationships and life experiences are a reflection of our inner world. Why do we feel unhappy or unfulfilled in our relationships? Why do we complain, judge others or blame them for our problems? Usually, it's because we feel that way about ourselves.

To change your relationships with others, you've got to change your relationship with yourself.

1. Own your feelings

Accept that you alone are responsible for the way you think and feel. No one can make you feel that way. Own responsibility for allowing yourself to feel the way you do.

2. Be self-aware

Step back and observe yourself from a distance. How do you react to people and situations? Are you reacting unconsciously like a "wounded child" or responding in a calm, compassionate manner? When you're conscious and aware of your feelings in a situation, you have the power to respond, rather than react.

3. Be authentic

Be true to yourself. There's no need to put on a mask or a persona for someone else. You are perfect, whole and complete the way you are.

4. Love yourself unconditionally

Accept yourself for who you are, the parts you like, the parts you don't. You’re a part of all divine creation. When you know and believe that, you will love and accept yourself the way you are.

5. Never belittle yourself

Never put yourself down or disrespect yourself. Don't allow anyone else to treat you in a way that you don't approve of. Never accept less than what you deserve - from yourself or anyone else.

6. Take care of yourself first

Remember the airline stewardess telling you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person next to you? You can't take care of someone else, your family, or your kids, if you don't take care of yourself first. Make yourself and your health a priority and do what it takes to get well, in every way.

7. Get in touch with your Higher Self

Your intuition is your Higher Self, the self that knows without knowing, sees without seeing. It is this self that will guide you towards your higher purpose. Any time you spend in meditation, prayer or solitude, cultivating your relationship with your higher self, will be time well spent. Learn to connect with yourself at a deeper level, find your purpose, and understand your role in the universe. It will transform your relationship with yourself, and with everyone in your life.

To change your relationships with others, you've got to change your relationship with yourself.

Also read: Love yourself, love your work

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